I'm really into asian looking animals
i permit you to call me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
