just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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