people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize