finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Who died my cat blue again?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
