I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
