I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
