Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
