after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
