She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
