I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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