When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
