Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
