I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
