I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
