I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize