I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
