Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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