worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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