I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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