That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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