i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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