Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
