i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
