It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
