I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize