Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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