...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
