I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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