I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
