You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
