She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
