we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
