can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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