Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
