This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
