Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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