This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
