how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize