i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
