I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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