Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize