Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
