I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
as a side note pls kill me
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize