I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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