are you still at the devil's house?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
