He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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