ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
