Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
