True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
