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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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