wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
