you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
where does the pee come out of this thing
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
