i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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