just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
