Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
