8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
