I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
