addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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