so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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