Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
