so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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