Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
