fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
