All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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