i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
